Joycelin Ooi Kah Yan
Bachelor of Communication (Hons) Public Relations
Dean's Class of August 2010
 

"You don't have the quality as a PR (Public Relations)! I'm afraid all the things that I've told you just couldn't register in your mind," blurted my supervisor while pointing her index finger and stared at me. "The mistakes that you made would tarnish our company's reputation. Luckily the client was not fussy and didn't mind. I think you should re-consider whether you are suitable for PR field", she continued to bombard.

"I will learn from my mistake," I replied.
"But your mistake will cost a lot and even millions to losing a client".
"I understand."
"Please don't just say you understand. I'm afraid you just don't get what I mean and it doesn't get into your mind."

The above statements were the feedback I got from a far distant supervisor, who had never worked with me but monitored me based on what she inquired from others.

I was so happy when I first received the offer letter from the International PR firm. I was really proud of myself for getting the internship as compared to my other peers who only managed to get local companies. I've been dreaming of getting into an international PR firm to get a feel of how's the 'real' working world is like. In my mind, I always have this naïve thinking that international firm is somewhat different from other local companies; at least they have set a higher benchmark for themselves. They seem to be more efficient and more professional. However, all these pre-perceptions had shattered into pieces after my internship.

I've always aimed my work and built my dream on international stage since for me, success comes with "status quo".Nevertheless, after entering the said firm, my view of the working world has totally been overturned. People always think that the grass is greener on the other side. Well, so do I. From my internship experience, I found that the types of work are actually nearly the same, be it international or local PR firm. The only thing that distinct them is the brand name. That is when I realized about the power of branding. It is their brand name that makes them look more prestigious, credible and financially stable as compared to any other local firms that lack branding.

Throughout my internship, I was only given ad hoc jobs like scanning newspaper and templates into document files. Next, I had to do news summaries for respective clients and sent them to my colleague who would then send them over to the clients. I learnt later that, as an intern, I had the lowest position and that is how an intern is normally treated. Though my talent is more on the front stage like emceeing an event and meeting up with people, I was not given the chance to prove myself. I was made to stay in office and the only time I got to leave the company was during lunch hours. With this confinement, my learning capacity was not stretched to the fullest as well.

The bad situation was top off with unhappy encounters with my mentor, Mr. D whose main jobs were to explain the basics, like media monitoring to me. I wasn't comfortable with the way he stayed so close to me while teaching me the steps to do news templates using computers. I also didn't like the way he called me "babe" just like how he did to every female intern. I just did not think that those are the proper professional etiquettes. At one point of time, he called me "babe" again and I cut in quickly saying, "Call me Joyce". He kept quiet and from then on, he called me by my name and always kept an arm length distance when he spoke to me. Of course he did show his dissatisfaction prior to that.

 My passion for PR was totally burnt out. This was because my most prominent skill had been undermined by my colleagues and I was made to handle scrutinous jobs which I was not good at. My self-esteem deteriorated inch by inch and I could no longer find joys with the work I did in the company. I was at a point of losing sense and my mind was in a blank state. I could no longer concentrate on my job because I felt others had negative perceptions on me. Subsequently, my work productivity had gone lower either.

Fortunately, this did not last long. It is a huge mistake to keep comparing myself with other people. When I looked into the mirror, I realized I was my biggest enemy. Tons of questions poured in: Can I overcome my biggest challenge-myself? What is my value? What is my goal? What have I done to achieve my goal-to be a successful PR practitioner? What makes me deserves a PR award if it is in my hand one day? Does sitting here doing nothing help the situation? Then, I remembered the saying, 'what you reap is what you sow'. I clung to the belief.